Se ti viene di pensare che non ce la farai, è probabile, ma non c'è da allarmarsi. Il cambiamento a livello globale è minimo, se muore la madre, addirittura nullo se a morire sarà il nascituro. Nessuno sbalzo a livello ambientale. Evitiamo tragedie, dunque.
Se temi di fare una figuraccia, sappi che non stai partorendo nella casa del Grande Fratello, la figuraccia si limita a qualche migliaio di parenti, conoscenti, e niente più.
Anche se tu eseguissi un parto da manuale, la figuraccia è comunque assicurata con quella camicia da notte che tua madre ti ha infilato senza che tu potessi obiettare perchè stavi già troppo male.
Se avessi giocato con le bambole, da piccola, un pochino più normalmente, invece che sotterrarle tutte in giardino after being stuffed with earth and worms from the small hole in the ass ... here, you'd at least have a little more trained. But you will learn anyway.
If you miss the poop right in the moment "clue", know that the nurses are also there to clean. And if your son will grow up accused of being born into a world of shit, then reply "Oh, do not look at me, is the nurse who has not cleaned well."
If what you bring forth should not be to your liking, the next room has a wide range of samples from which to choose freely. Corridors can agree on trade with other pregnant women. It is advisable to bring along a pencil and taqquino, Keep track of the barcodes of the products.
If you're concerned that your wild flower, once delivered, will come out damaged, because actually looks like a gun that has just sent off the ball: boiling, steaming, torn at the edges, if you fear what you do not worry: You can re any tear-seam, some doctors are experts in more complex embroidery techniques. For a new vagina with the rim-day!
If you want to vent your anger by the cliché of a respectable company, know that everything is permitted at the time of delivery. It is in fact allowed to yell insults, swear words and curses in several languages. Attention will be made on the psyche of the findings mother, only where it has, during childbirth, James Brown sings something, or that ecstatic smile saying "I am the Virgin Mother."
the way, if you make claims of virginity is not recognized, you can always buy the box, "Purity of the past" to the Vatican-shop for only € 900, € 1300 with a certificate signed by the Pope. Other useful accessories, such as the hymen unbreakable (in pure bulletproof plexiglass) or the universal format of the keys for chastity belts are all ordered on the Vatican website under "online shopping".
's the end of this post, and this show. In prossima si parlerà di tamponi vaginali, di brandelli di carne sanguinolenta, e di omicidi post-partum, con un excursus etno-antropologico in cui verranno viste da vicino le partorienti della Cina settentrionale, e della loro particolare tecnica per facilitare il parto. Alla prossima puntata, dunque, e non cambiate blog!
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